The End

As for my project at least. I have created a mini comic that I will post shortly about my experience. I'm kind of sad that it was only in the last week or two that I regained my steam, and became less depressed about this all. I think if I'd been in a better mood in general, my setbacks would have seemed less annoying and wounding. Well, cheers occult creatures, where-ever you may frolic.

Agrippa

As I work on my comic, I have also been reading some Agrippa. You can read along with me here.
I was interested to read about magic from a classical time period, and had originally thought to read the Grand Grimoire, despite the English language translation omitting sections, causing "every operation [to] turn to your disadvantage, confusion and total destruction." I may yet do this, but I was not prepared to be totally destroyed yet.
I wanted to read Agrippa due to it's association with Goethe's Faust, supposedly being something Faust had studied extensively. At first I was a bit put off by the very dense language, but began enjoying it more. It's obviously for very learned people of the time, who have a very good knowledge of mythology and literature, as it makes reference to either every other paragraph. It's more of a general text about magic, where the Grand Grimoire is a magic textbook. More of a 'non fiction' overview of magic, where the Grand Grimoire is a magic cookbook of sorts.
I enjoy poetry, so the constant quoting of Virgil and company is welcome and entertaining. I like the opening poem:

"Pragmatick Schoolmen, men made up of pride,
And rayling Arguments, who truth deride,
And scorn all else but what your selves devise,
And think these high-learned Tracts to be but lies,
Do not presume, unless with hallowed hand
To touch these books who with the world shall stand;
The are indeed mysterious, rare and rich,
And far transcend the ordinary pitch."

Reminds me very much of the first page of Dr. Faustus by Marlowe. At any rate, it's a good read, I've been learning more about mythology of all things, which I have not had a good chance to study. Like the words jovial, venereal, martial, and saturnine coming from the names of the planets/gods. Jupiter, Venus, Mars and Saturn, respectively. If I can find a mugwort, I may try a spell soon.

Ouija board

This entry has been too long in coming, I do apologize. This may be my last for a bit, though I hope to continue on with this project. I am going to be creating an auto-biographical comic book about my experience doing this research, and would like to post pages from it to this blog.

Weeks ago I had an experience with the Ouija board. At the Halloween tea party I threw, we used the Ouija board several times with different combinations of people. At first, I thought it was just amusing and was making dismissive quips as is my wont, and decided to cede control to other people. Mostly nothing exciting happened at all, the puck going off the board several times. I attempted to have an 'appropriate atmosphere' by using the glow in the dark board in the near dark at night. I was surprised that the party-goers seemed interested in continuing using it long after I had considered it a bust. Three girls used it for at least an hour, and while nothing exciting was recorded, they seemed genuinely at least slightly spooked. "Are you pushing it?" "No, aren't you?!"

I was surprised that it seemed that fun to people yet I was disappointed that nothing exciting happened. I've had it suggested to me that I should try it in different 'more haunted' locations but I am a bit too depressed about it to try further at the moment. Something I began realizing at the party was my intense desire to have these spooky experiences that others have, as puzzling as it may seem. Perhaps there is something about the inherent belief that appeals to me, or even just having a different emotion than the usual neutrality or anxiety that one experiences for the vast majority of life. I can't seem to even trick myself into feeling these emotions for more than a moment, the best I achieved was "Huh, wouldn't it be weird if that were true." I was reflecting on childhood and realized this was practically the attitude I had back then. The thrill of wondering was so tenuous even then, "what if it were true..." Most children don't think that way, I seem to be a natural skeptic. I think I've begun realizing why horror is the most appealing genre of all to me, far out-weighing all others.

I am an anxious person, like most people. At any given moment, I am neutral, anxious, stressed out, worried, tired or bored, or some combination thereof. The feeling of true fear is related, and yet it is fresh. Being fearful or nervous of some supernatural thing is exciting, and much more interesting than being worried about a homework assignment. I know the supernatural thing really isn't real, but for the moment I am pretending while enjoying some fiction, I can place my anxiety on an imaginary foe. That relieves my mind for at least that moment. The anxiety is so present that another emotion is too difficult, too much of a stretch and I just can't get to it as easily. I think the reason people like stories is to feel a different feeling than the one they've got, or to think about something other than what they're thinking of. Horror is easy for me, so it is more enjoyable.

I was joking in class that I am becoming an HP Lovecraft protagonist. I am off seeking nameless horrors for no other reason than "I want to." However, unlike these protagonists it is highly unlikely that some creature will snatch me away to his underground caverns to devour. However, should I disappear or die mysteriously, you will know the true reason-- monsters.

A special announcment

I hereby pause the academic proceedings to advertise an event: a Halloween Tea Party. If you are a Cornish student or employee, (which you probably are if you are reading this,) please come if you can! As you can see, there will be a Ouija board séance, I will record the events that take place afterwards, on this blog.
Facebook Event for this... event.

Ouija board, Ouija board...

I purchased a glow in the dark Ouija board yesterday, (actually my mom picked it up from Toys 'R' Us because I couldn't find any locally.) I gave it a try last night, hoping I might feel a little scared or nervous, like I did when I was a kid.
I goofed around trying to get it to say something sensible, but really had to reach to find anything. I'm going to be conducting a public séance on Friday, and I hope I get better results.
I tried to Google some tips, hoping I might find some entertaining questions I could ask the board, but found mostly "I heard this scary story..." "Ouija boards are dangerous" and "You might contact a demon!" I can't believe that this is the sort of thing that people still believe to this day.
I certainly didn't have anything scary happen to me yet, I actually would rather that than getting a bunch of boring gibberish.
Worse yet, I couldn't muster even a feeling of slight apprehension, without even thinking about it. I really want to feel scared, or that there is anything supernatural in the world, but it seems I cannot change my feelings no matter how hard I might try.

Physiognomy and Phrenology wrap up

Overall with Pseudo-sciences, I've been discovering that they obviously do not hold up to experimentation. I think that the reason people might have believed in this sort of thing is the argument from authority, of smart looking scholars telling them that it is true. Also, one can skim one of these books and say, "Oh, I'm smart, and it says that this aspect of my head/face means I'm smart, how canny!" Yet, most people do not delve in and really examine what the shape of their nostrils means. With much scrutiny at all, these 'sciences' fall apart. I was nearly wanting to believe them, because it 's fun to imagine you can determine people's personalities based on this sort of thing, but it just isn't possible. I'm a bit disappointed, and I fear that I am going to be doubly disappointed on my next experiment, contacting the dead with a Ouija board. I tried it out a bit last night, I will write a quick summary in my next entry.

Physiognomy Experiment

Sorry for the delay, things always take longer than you'd think. Tonight I will be posting a self physiognomy experiment, in which I analyze my own face.
Actually, I had someone else analyze it for me, because I figured they would be a more impartial judge than I would be. I will list some of the 'observations' that were made based on information from the book Amazing Face Reading - an Illustrated Encyclopedia For Reading Faces.

"slightly impatient
barely jealous and untrustworthy
very strong sex drive
very intelligent/high IQ
logical, abstract thinker
slightly unforgiving, mean, and miserly
slightly good moneymaking potential
very adaptable to changing circumstances
slightly pessimistic, immature, unpredictable
good at rote learning/memorization, general knowledge, literary quotes
somewhat zealous/firm resolve
somewhat cunning/sly
good stamina/will to succeed
chronic indecision/ defeatism
lacks energy
inclined to use authority with fairness
good common sense
somewhat friendly, easy going and approachable
cranky and idiosyncratic
haste for satisfaction
expect reciprocity in relationships, and a bit touchy
chilly, standoffish and remote
serious thinker at early age
strong feelings
intolerant - conservative
slightly discontent
people think you are trustworthy or innocent. "

Now, I read over this list, and decided with my friend how true each was on a scale of 1-3, and I calculated the percentage of correctness. I won't say which ones are true, because it's too embarrassing! (My blog, afterall.)

I got an average of 2.13 correctness, so only slightly more than half of the time were these ideas true. Overall, that seems as good a chance as just randomly guessing. 9 points were very true, and 4 were very untrue. The vast majority being "sort of true." I was rather underwhelmed again.